3.31.2009

Anatomy of a Rant

Question intending to engage you? A partial answer to that question to draw you in further. Frustrating personal experience which prompted question and incited the rant that follows. Personal experience elaborated upon. Personal experience elaborated upon further in order to distribute blame to people other than myself. Outright complaint about personal experience! Disdain expressed toward whomever the blame landed upon! Back peddling excuses for what probably caused personal experience so as not to appear whiny or intolerant. Straight up whiny intolerance. Even more whiny intolerance. Self deprecating humor to keep reader engaged despite whiny intolerance. Bold justification for whiny and intolerant tirade.

Lofty, know-it-all statement explaining my philosophy on topic at hand. Explanation of my impressive credentials which are intended to give credence to my philosophy. Further blabbering on about my opinion with little to no fact to back it up. Well disguised wish that everyone else would just agree with me concerning topic at hand. Utter surprise that more people don't see it my way! Not so well disguised demand that everyone else just agree with me concerning topic at hand. Disgust that others don't have the world figured out as well as I do. Self congratulatory baloney. Open-ended suggestion followed by an "...". Back peddling excuses for other's ignorance so as not to appear conceited, self centered and puffed up. More self deprecating humor to really drive home point that I am not conceited, self centered and puffed up. Transparent statement indicating politically correct tolerance of other's ignorance.

Statement peppered with momentary defeat and disappointment about how difficult life really is for a healthy, middle class, white woman living in America. A little bit more humor to maintain likability. Last minute dig at all those jerks who are clearly to blame for my personal experience!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is this a rewrite? Version two of something you wrote and decided not to post? Spill sister, spill, I come here to hear last minute digs at all those jerks who are clearly to blame for my personal experience. I live for that. Spill I say, feed your reader. :o)

maggie said...

Feeling better now?